Scans, Tattoos and Plans, Oh My!

You know that feeling you get when your CT scan looks clear for cancer but shows what appears to be a herniated disc, so you're sent for an MRI to confirm said disc and the results of the MRI show something, but no one's sure what it is? 

I DO!

Yeah, seriously. The sports medicine doctor called me on Friday to tell me he did see something on my MRI in the same place as the supposed disc, but it didn't appear to be a disc. So, what did it appear to be? "Well, it could be radiation damage, or edema, or even a small fracture. Though, a fracture seems unlikely since you don't remember hurting the area." Ok, valid guesses I suppose. But I'm not a fan of the inconclusive test results. "It's not cancer, right?" He paused for a moment and said, "Well, the CT scan didn't appear to show cancer, so I don't think so. I'm going to call your oncologist to get a copy of the actual CT scan and not just the report. I'd like to compare it to the MRI and see if that helps us figure out what we're looking at. If we still aren't sure, we may have to send you for a bone scan."

Oh, goody! 

What's a few more days of waiting, a few more days of pain, another scan to fill my body with more radiation? I was hoping to start physical therapy today, but until they know what's causing the problem they aren't able to fix it. On the positive side, the pain doesn't seem to be getting any worse, so I guess that's a good thing. I'm hoping I'll have some answers tomorrow.

While I wasn't given any news about my back on Friday, I did have a small heart attack that day anyway. Lily and I have been e-mailing a lot and getting to know each other, which has been really great. But something she said on Friday sent up a red flag in my brain. "I'm kind of nervous. I'm supposed to be getting my eyeliner tattooed on the way home from work today!" If you've seen my husband or me, you know we don't have any issues with tattoos. Though, the thought of needles going near my eyes makes me want to crawl up the wall! But then another thought hit me after crawling back down. On any medical forms I've filled out in the past, especially when donating blood or freezing embryos, I remember answering the question, "Have you gotten any tattoos or piercings in the last 6 months?" I know they're asking because of HIV or Hep C or any other diseases that can be transmitted through dirty needles. My heart was pounding anxiously and I started to type back to her, "Is that allowed before the transfer?" but I couldn't hit the send button. Who am I to question this woman? She's offered to carry our baby, but that doesn't mean I have the right to get all bossy with her, especially since we haven't even signed any contracts yet. So I let it go, assuming she'd probably checked it out with Tara before making the appointment.

But what if she didn't?

Clearly this woman would not intentionally do anything to hurt this process. I mean, she's completed mounds of paperwork and preliminary testing and background checks and a home study. Why would she go through all of that if she didn't actually want to do this for us? I'm sure she asked Tara. Forget about it.

But what if she really didn't know there could be an issue so she DIDN'T ask? What if she's taking a half-day today to get this done? I checked the time on my phone and it was 1:00 PM. That's noon in Minnesota. Lunchtime. If she was taking a half-day she could've been heading out right then. Shit! I frantically e-mailed Tara:

Hi Tara,

Lily mentioned getting an eyeliner tattoo today. Is that ok? I don't want to upset her but I want to make sure she checked with you first.

Thanks.

It took about 15 minutes to receive the reply that made my heart jump out of my chest and fall onto the floor with a thud.

Suzanne,

No, I didn't know about it. I checked with your clinic and they will require a waiting period of six months after a tattoo or piercing before medication can begin for an embryo transfer. I've already tried calling Lily but I haven't been able to reach her. I suggest you try too.

Tara

SHIT!!!

Now what do I do? I felt awful. I'd basically tattled on this woman who has selflessly offered up her body for us for the next 10 months. Now Tara and I had to hunt her down like a dog and stop her from doing something SHE wanted to do with HER body before allowing my baby to live in it. But I didn't have a choice. I had to e-mail her. After a few minutes without a reply I started jumping to conclusions. Obviously she'd left work early and she was already in the chair being tattooed. That's the only explanation for why neither Tara nor I could get in touch with her. Couldn't have had anything to do with the fact that the poor woman was WORKING, right? Five minutes went by...then ten...then fifteen...then...

Ding!

It was from Tara.

Click!

Hi Suzanne,

She canceled the appointment. All is well.

Tara.

Oh, thank GOD!

Crisis avoided. Breathe. Chill. I thanked Tara and shot another e-mail to Lily, apologizing for ruining her plans. Her simple response gave me another reason to feel that she is the right person to care for our little bundle and keep her safe:

Hi Suzanne,

I'm not upset. Just a little disappointed because I've had that appointment for a few months. But I'll just get it done after the baby comes!!

Lily

And now we're in the process of picking dates for our Clinic Day! Miss Impatient and I would really like it to happen before Jimmi and I leave for Europe on July 19th, so everyone is running around like crazy people trying to sync up schedules. I can't believe it's really happening! Plans are being set in motion and contracts are being written up as I type! The reality is sinking in enough that Jimmi and I have started picking out names for the baby(ies); something I never thought we'd be doing. If all goes well, we could be pregnant by the end of the summer!