A Favor

I've always stood by my two rules of blogging.

1. Always be completely open and honest.
2. Don't write if there's nothing important to say.

Tonight's post will be short, as I don't want to break rule #2.

It's taken some time to adjust my brain from thoughts of three babies to thoughts of just one. My feelings go back and forth between the agony of losing two of my children to the relief of the decreased risk, expense and stress of caring for just one. I haven't had much more to say than what was written in my last post, but I felt I needed to check in with all of you to let you know Jimmi and I are ok. We've had a week to digest the shock and we're moving forward. I'm not gonna lie to you, though. I'm flying out to Minnesota on Wednesday for Lyndsay's 10 week 4 day ultrasound on Thursday, and I'm absolutely terrified of what I may or may not see. What if Baby A doesn't have a heartbeat anymore? What if she, like her sisters, has just stopped progressing? What if I'm standing there, again without Jimmi by my side, staring at another lifeless child on the screen? I really don't think I'd be able to handle losing them all. Everyone keeps telling me to think positively, but these are the real thoughts that have been circling my brain for the last week. I wish I could be more confident, but after all that's happened, I'm having a really hard time seeing the cup as half full.

Anyway, there's not much more to tell you at this point other than thank you. Thank you so much for all of your thoughts, prayers, well-wishes, sympathy and friendship. Thank you for your support and kind words. And thank you for continuing to read about our crazy, bumpy ride. The hits on my blog this week have been out-of-control and I'm so touched when I see the numbers jumping. However, I'd like to ask you all a huge favor. Please look to the right side of this page where it says, "Followers." Right above that it'll say, "Join this site." Would you all please take a minute to click to join and officially follow me? I can tell by the number of page views that I have a lot more readers than the 26 listed there and I'd love to see you all represented. You can even follow anonymously if it's more comfortable for you. If you're on a mobile device, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click, "View web version," then follow the same steps as above. It would mean so much to me to see how many loyal readers I actually have!

Again, thank you all and I'll catch up with you at the end of the week...hopefully with good news.