Thursday, September 5, 2013

Testing: One...Two...

"Lyndsay's official pregnancy test will be on September ninth. Don't cheat and take a home test!" was the last thing Nurse J said to us before we left the clinic after the transfer on Friday. Most normal people  would probably listen to that advice because the false negative rate if you test too early is really high. But giving those instructions to two people with as much combined patience as Lyndsay and I have was a huge waste of vocal energy.

"How soon did you test positive when you carried for your cousin?" I asked Lyndsay. "It was a week after the transfer," she told me. "I had a few negative tests before that because it was too early." I convinced myself to wait out the week before asking her to pee on a stick, even though I was tempted to collect a urine sample from her before she got on the plane to head back to Minnesota on Saturday morning, only one day after our embabies were released into her nice, cushy uterus. 

Lyndsay and her mom made it back home safely and were able to spend Labor Day with their family. I texted a few times to ask how she was feeling. "Nothing to report yet," she told me on one occasion, and, "I still feel great," was the response on another. "When do you think you'll take a home test?" I urged carefully without pressure. "Probably Friday," she replied, "I don't want to do it too early because the cost really adds up!" She was right. Before I found out I was pregnant with Dylan I must've peed on 12 of those stupid plastic sticks over the course of two weeks. Not one of them showed up positive and I was out like $100! Wait! I Know what to do! I thought as the lightbulb glistened in my head. I'll send her some tests so she won't have to worry about buying them and I won't have to actually ask her to take one! It was already Tuesday, at that point, and I couldn't believe it took me so long to think of that idea. I'm totally losing my touch. I sat down at the computer and typed in "buy home pregnancy test online" and hit the Return key. I scanned the options that popped up in front of my eyes and clicked on, which I've used in the past. Did I want a digital test that would actually have the words "pregnant" or "not pregnant" or did I want one with one line for no and two lines for yes? How about a plus sign or a minus sign? I settled on a name brand, two-line test that came with three sticks in one box in case she got a negative result on the first or second try. Besides, $15.00 for three tests was a great deal! I added them to my online basket and clicked the "checkout" button to see the different delivery options. Yes! They had overnight shipping! $19.99?! That's more than the entire box costs! Oh well. I was halfway through the checkout process at that point, might as well just complete it. And done! 

I woke up on Wednesday morning to a shipping confirmation e-mail from "Your item shipped on Wednesday, September 4, 2013 and is expected to be delivered on Thursday, September 5, 2013." Wait, what?! I placed my order on Tuesday and I purposely paid double to have the package delivered the next day! Why didn't it ship out? I'll bet it was because I bought it in the afternoon and never bothered to read the shipping rules. It was probably too late to go out that day. Damnit! 

It was difficult, but I waited out another day. On Thursday morning Lyndsay and I were texting and she let me know that she was starting to feel nauseated when she would get hungry, "just like last time," she said. That was a good sign, right? I couldn't help myself and I let it slip that a box of pregnancy tests would be arriving on her doorstep at any moment. She didn't seem bothered at all and I had to ask, "Have you snuck any tests yet?" Her response was a quick, "Nope." I would never have been able to wait that long! I'd been looking online that week to check the earliest it's possible to test positive after an embryo transfer and most people said day 6. There were a few on day 5 and only one that I saw on Day 4. Today would mark the 6th post transfer day. I figured it would be pretty accurate by now, though Lyndsay reminded me again that she didn't get a positive result until the one week mark last time. The day dragged on until, finally at 3:00 PM, Lyndsay told me the box had arrived. As much as I wanted to type in all capital letters, "GO TAKE A TEST RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!!!!" I refrained. Instead, I went with, "Do you have to pee?" Subtle, yet to the point. She sent back a winky face which I chose to mean she understood exactly what I was asking. About five minutes later a picture came through on my phone, followed by these words:

"Ok, so I fibbed a little. ;) I have been testing since Tuesday!! All have been positive. :) This is my 5th test and all are positive. :)"

It was only after reading the text that I looked carefully at the picture she'd sent of the test she'd just taken. Two lines. There were TWO lines! Yes, one was lighter in color than the other, but it was definitely there! Oh my GOD! She's pregnant! WE'RE PREGNANT! I had to shake myself back into reality and apologize to my friend who was standing in my kitchen, helping us train our dog, "I'm sorry," I said to her, "I should've waited to look at that text until you were gone because now I won't be able to concentrate! Lyndsay just took a pregnancy test." That caught Jimmi's attention, too, and he handed the puppy a few treats and got up from the floor. "And?" he asked. I showed him the picture. "So what does that mean?" he asked, clearly not allowing it all to sink in yet. "She's pregnant!" I announced! "Congratulations!" shrieked my friend as we both watched Jimmi's face go from beach-tanned to pale white. "You ok?" I giggled. The new Daddy-to-Be shook his head, shrugged and said, "Gotta go!" and headed out to the garage to embrace his new status. "He's such a drama King," I laughed. 

A few minutes later, the trainer left and Jimmi came back inside, "I see your color has come back," I joked with him. "Are you happy?" "Grrrr!" he said. "Are you happy?" I asked again. "GRRRR!" he said again. "Answer me, you jerk!" I playfully punched him in the arm. "Yes, of course I am...Mommy," he smiled.  I wrapped my arms around my husband and looked into his aqua eyes, "Me too...Daddy."

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